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RATING: 1/5 Cast: Michelle Pfeiffer, Paul Rudd, Sarah Alexander, Stacey L. Dash, Jon Lovitz, Fred Willard, Saoirse Ronan
Director: Amy Heckerling
Genre: Comedy
MPAA: rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. AGE-DEFYING DUO - SAVE
$13 Parental Guide:
Nudity: PG equivalent; partial female nudity
Profanity: PG equivalent; approx. 5 profanities
Sex: PG-13 equivalent; sexual dialogue, scenes implying sex
Violence: PG equivalent; slapstick humor
Other: None
“Mom, when can I have sex?” “When you have your masters degree.” A single mother (Michelle Pfieffer) to a teen (Saoirse Ronan) falls for a younger man (Paul Rudd)...10 years younger. She's nearly fifty and apparently still desirable by the younger man. Three-time Academy Award nominee Michelle Pfieffer (“Love Field”, “Dangerous Liaisons”, “The Fabulous Baker Boys”) has been absent from the film industry for the past few years and this is likely not by choice. Sad but true, women in Hollywood have an expiration date. Her last good films were “Up Close & Personal” (1996), “What Lies Beneath” (2000), “The Age of Innocence” (1993). Considering the lack of work, the lack of offers it's probably somewhat understandable that the once sex symbol would accept this very lacking screenplay, perhaps even without a reading. What's astonishes me is why would up-and-coming Paul Rudd, hot off the success of “The 40-Year Old Virgin” and “Knocked-Up” (although “Knocked-Up” was released after this feeble effort) buy-in to this one; did he really think Michelle Pfieffer could help drive his career?  
The young Saoirse Ronan, portraying Michelle Pfieffer's daughter, is the only noteworthy performance here. She offers the only performance that doesn't feel desperate, forced. This young actress might be going places, especially considering her attachment to the 2009 Peter Jackson effort entitled “The Lovely Bones”, from writer Alice Sebold. I read the book, this is going to be a very emotional film with anticipated strong performances. Ronan also can be seen in the Oscar nominated “Atonement” opposite Keira Knightley.
Paul Rudd is a 30-yr old resembling a jittery 15-yr old; a clownish, over animated demeanor that rarely delivers any chuckles. Rudd's boyish charms are more juvenile than charismatic. Pfieffer on the other hand is awkward (perhaps as she should be, dating when she hasn't for many years); she's beautiful but never this sexy, desirable character we would expect Rudd's character to fall for. Now 43-yr old Susan Sarandon in “While Palace” was very desirable opposite her 27-yr old co-star James Spader. We believed, we witnessed Spader's craving for Sarandon. Same case with “The Graduate”. Director Amy Heckerling can do better than this. Look at her resume: “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, “European Vacation”, “Look Who's Talking”, “Clueless”. True, maybe not Oscar worthy material here but even so Heckerling is better than this. Apparently the six-years away from being behind-the-camera has made the director rusty. You also have Tracey Ullman (“Small Time Crooks”) on hand as quirky Mother Nature (why?). Fred Willard (“For Your Considerable”) is present for laughs but never is offered any worthy material. Jon Lovitz (“The Benchwarmers”) is here for comic relief?? Lovitz portrays Pfieffer's ex-husband; yea that would never happen. Lovitz hasn't made audiences laugh in years and the only list he is on is the the 100 most unsexiest men. “I Could Never Be Your Woman” offers us a worn and past her prime actress, maybe two chuckles, no on-screen chemistry (it feels like they are more son/mother than lovers), and nearly two-hours of clumsy dialogue. There's nothing worthwhile here folks. Revisit “White Palace”, “The Graduate”, or even “How Stella Got Her Groove Back”.
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